How many times in your life have you been told to “just be yourself”? It sounds simple, but when you’re facing challenges or watching others pass you by, it can feel anything but easy.
You might catch yourself thinking, “Life would be easier, if I were like ______,” filling in the blank with someone who seems to have the perfect life.
The truth is, the most common desire I hear from women in business is this:
To be treated authentically, and to feel seen and valued for who they truly are.
Self-confidence is often the key differentiator between people who achieve their goals and those who do not. To lead effectively, you must know yourself, grow yourself and believe in yourself.
When I think about self-confidence, I always come back to intelligence. You can walk into a room with your head held high and your posture strong, but true confidence comes from what you say…and how you connect with others across a wide range of conversations.
Knowledge is power. And through that power comes confidence.
But let’s be clear: Confidence isn’t a “fake it till you make it.” It’s about how you think about yourself, and what you believe you’re capable of.
Even today, I sometimes find myself wondering what others might think of something I’ve said or done. And if I’m not careful, I could slip into that familiar spiral of “not enough.”
Not successful enough.
Not strong enough.
Not smart enough.
But here’s the shift. When I catch those thoughts, I course-correct.
I remind myself that sharing knowledge can help others, and it’s a powerful reflection of my authentic confidence.
For many years, I was often the only woman, or one of just a few, in leadership roles. I never had a senior female mentor. I had to create my own playbook.
And when I launched my own business, I knew I wanted to be the mentor I had once needed. I wasn’t just building a profitable business, I was building a legacy of support for other women.
Over the years, incredible mentees found their way into my life…some through introductions, some through networking and others through university programs. Different paths, different industries, but always the same powerful need: to be seen, supported and believed in.
From a young age, many women are bombarded with mixed messages:
Layered on top of that are well-meaning loved ones who encourage us to “play it safe” or “keep our expectations realistic”…believing they are protecting us from disappointment.
The result?
Limiting beliefs that whisper…I’m not enough. I shouldn’t expect more. I shouldn’t stand out.
Confidence isn’t about eliminating every negative thought. It’s about recognizing them…and reframing them.
Catch yourself thinking:
“I’m not ready” -> Re-frame to “I’m learning as I go.”
“I’m not successful enough” -> Re-frame to “I’m building something meaningful.”
Small mindset shifts, practiced daily, create a new internal narrative. One that supports authentic confidence instead of undermining it.
Being confident at work doesn’t mean putting on an act. It means knowing, and sharing, your real story:
Share your values, your mission and the principles that guide you.
Talk about your why…not just your wins. Share your challenges, your lessons learned and the imperfect path that led you here.
Perfect lives don’t build connections. Real stories do.
Whether it’s personal branding or a company brand, authenticity is what builds trust…and long-term success.
If you or your company try to project an image that doesn’t align with your true values, people will see right through it. Authenticity is magnetic. In-authenticity is exhausting…for you and those around you.
Mindset isn’t a one-time fix. It requires daily reflection. It demands that you pay attention to how you speak to yourself…because no one talks to you more than you do.
Authentic confidence doesn’t come from chasing approval.
It comes from standing firmly in who you are and giving yourself permission to lead from there.
As I always say:
What’s the worst that can happen?
But more importantly…
What’s the best that can happen?
Unlock the secrets to breaking stereotypes and achieving success in sales. Connect with Judy Hoberman to learn how to build your personal brand and amplify your influence in the industry.