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We often hear that resilience means bouncing back…but what if we redefined it?
What if resilience isn’t about returning to who you were, but becoming who you’re meant to be?
For women especially, challenges show up in every corner of life-personally, professionally and in the space in between. Sometimes, it’s a sudden disruption in your career. Other times, it’s a family situation you didn’t see coming. And while it might feel tempting to retreat under the covers with your favorite blanket and call it a day…life has other plans.
So we talk to our girlfriends, our coaches, our mentors-whoever can lend an ear or a little wisdom and we find a way to move through it. Not just to “bounce back”…but to bounce forward.
I once asked my male clients how they handle setbacks. Several of them reference a quote I’ve carried with me ever since:
“Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger… setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward”. This was brilliantly said by Henry Ford.
Setbacks come in all shapes and sizes: a job loss, a personal disappointment, a wrong turn. Sometimes, it’s not even about something we did…but where we were born, who we were raised by or circumstances out of our control. But no matter how it shows up, each setback has one hidden gift: the opportunity to pivot forward.
True resilience isn’t about denying what went wrong. It’s about learning, adapting and choosing forward momentum…even when fear tags along for the ride.
Let me share a story…
When I graduated from college, nearly all of us became teachers. But not long after, I was laid off. Last one in, first one out. I panicked but opened the classifieds anyway and spotted a job on Wall Street as head of accounting.
The only problem? I’d never taken an accounting course in my life.
Still, I applied. Got the interview. Took the subway downtown, terrified. I kept thinking, “What’s the worst that can happen” And also…”What if they actually hire me?”
They did. Not because I was qualified on paper. But because I was willing to show up, think creatively and lead with confidence. They saw potential I hadn’t even seen in myself yet. That’s what bouncing forward looks like.
Years later I walked into a room of top executives. I didn’t feel brave. I felt nervous. But I walked in anyway. That one moment stretched me and opened doors I couldn’t have predicted.
Resilience doesn’t require perfection. Just progress.
A few ways to strengthen your bounce:
- Prioritize your well-being. Sleep, nutrition, movement-your body can’t be resilient if it’s running on fumes.
- Audit your influences. The voices you listen to, especially your own, shape your reality. Choose wisely.
- Re-frame your mistakes. They’re not failures. They’re feedback.
- Respond, don’t react. Pause, breathe and remember…you always have a choice.
- Keep your goals in sight. Even if you fall off-track, you’ll know were to return.
- Invest in community. A strong network of fuels your strength.
- Stay flexible. Change isn’t always a detour. It’s often a doorway.
Because here’s the truth: You are allowed to fall. You are allowed to wobble. But don’t forget…you are also built to rise.
So…what’s your next bounce forward?