Getting The Words Out Of My Mouth

The following week I had a friend stay with me while here on business.  We talked and talked and we both had major decisions to ake in our lives. She has the perfect relationship at home and needed to make her professional life more meaningful.  I was trying to find myself in both my personal and professional life.  She made a comment to me that I hear in my mind over and over again…”You have everything, and you have nothing”.  Gulp! Yikes! Really?  I was so focused on making sure my children were ok and building a business or two that I let me slip by.  I lost me.  When someone would ask me what I liked to do I would actually have to hesitate and think about it because it had been that long.

So now I knew I had to tell those that I report to of my decision.  I had asked to speak with the person in charge of our entire department first.  Not that I wanted to go over my boss’ head, but he and I have known each other and been together in the business for so many years, I felt out of respect that he should know first.  We made tentative plans to meet over the weekend out of the office.  My stomach was starting to turn.

On Saturday, I took my friend to the airport, kissed her goodbye and told her that by the time she got home, I would have had the conversation and at least the process would begin. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen.  Our wires were crossed and he didn’t remember the meeting.  I was crushed.  I have always told my children that if you need to do something that isn’t that comfortable, just do it and the next day it would be behind you.  Great thought but that wasn’t the case.

On Sunday I was heading to the training session and would be out of the office for the week.  Do you understand what that means? This conversation would have to wait but I had to put it in a different compartment in my brain because I needed to focus on the 90 people coming in.  They deserved to have me present 150%.

The week went on without a hitch, even with the new location and the new agenda.  Everyone was so excited and that is the ultimate goal.  On Thursday however, my big boss showed up and while someone else was on stage, he called me outside.  I didn’t even think about what this was because I had put what I wanted to say to him in a different compartment for the week….

He asked how the training was going with the new changes and I told him it was running without any glitches.  Then he said…”You wanted to talk to me”  Have I mentioned that I do a lot of gulping?? I had the entire speech that I wanted to say to him and absolutely nothing was coming into my brain.  I simply said “It’s time for me to go”